Where’s all the worth gone?

Last week I was sorting through an old folder and found a list of goals that I’d written when I was living in Argentina in 2006.  I’d replied to an ad on an Expat website, that said something like this:

• Are you tired and lacking energy?
• Would you like to be happier and enjoy life more?
• Are there things you are missing out on?
• Is it time for change?

I ticked all the boxes and oh yes, I was definitely ready for change, so I immediately signed on the dotted line!  A few days later a lovely American Woman came to our apartment and Chris and I started some Coaching sessions.

The first thing she got us to do was to write out our 1 month, 3 month and 6 month goals, 9 in total, 3 items in each area.  When I found the paper, I reminisced the 5 months we’d been in Buenos Aires.  We’d had a great time, met loads of people, ate amazing food, drank delicious beer and wine but could have enjoyed it more if we hadn’t been tied to our jobs.

At the time, I was in desperate mode and just about had my head above water.  As usual I was trying harder and harder and wouldn’t give up.  Whilst this trait has served me in many ways, it’s also been a detriment and kept me doing things for far longer than I should have, with little or no reward.

The fact is, you can keep doing the same thing over and over with little or no reward but it ain’t gonna change much.  These are the things you want to drop like a hot potato and try something different, even if you have no idea if the change will actually change anything!

So when I read through my 9 goals, I wasn’t let’s say jumping with joy.  When Chris came home, I showed him the paper and with a big smile he said ‘ you’ve done well, look at how much you’ve achieved’.  I sighed and said ‘are you taking the p*@*s’.  He said ‘no, you have done well, are you taking the p*@*?’.  I proceeded to go through each goal and explained why I’d failed so miserably.

I then caught myself.  I was in one of my recurring themes, running it like a well known film.  I’d become blindsided, focusing on what I hadn’t achieved.  Everyone has non-serving recurring themes, you can pin point yours by becoming aware of your inner self talk and mistakes that you seem to make over and over.

Once it was in my awareness, I was able to open my eyes and mind and read the goals in a different context and yes I had achieved them, 100%.  Why is this story relevant and why am I sharing it with you?  The point is that if I’m falling into this behaviour, then it’s likely that you are too.

Take a look at where you are devaluing yourself unnecessarily and do what you’ve got to, to raise that self worth through the roof.  We’ve been trained long enough to put everything but ourselves first and I’m asking you to stop doing that.  Put yourself first, open your eyes to your worth and if you know that there is more out there waiting for you, then don’t let anything get in the way.  Because your ego will find every excuse to keep you small and so will other people.

People who are stuck in their own low self worth stuff, people who stopped dreaming long ago and people who would begrudge you having what you want.  Don’t get me wrong they don’t do it to hurt you, in fact quite the opposite, they think they’re helping you but in fact they’re just consulting their own writings on their walls, which is telling them they can’t have what they want.

And the people closest to you, the ones who love you can also sabotage your success.  It doesn’t matter how much they love you, how hard you try to explain to them or how much they get you, they can’t possibly share the same feelings as you because they aren’t you.  They aren’t inside your body, feeling what you’re feeling, seeing what you’re seeing, thinking what you’re thinking or hearing what you hear.

If you have that deep knowing that you are here for something more than you are sharing right now, then you must start listening to that voice of wisdom.  The inner you, the perfect you, the all knowing you, is on your side and will help you get to where you’re supposed to be.

You can have what you want and do you know how I know, because I have what I want and if I can have it then so can you.

Put yourself first, own up to what’s keeping you small and do what you’ve got to do to make it happen.  When you’re happy and fulfilled, everyone around you benefits so much more than when you deny yourself your truth.

Love,

Natasha